If we peel away the layers, we all are left with one bare fact that often goes unnoticed in daily life, yet feels essential during times of crisis: we are animals. Human animals, yes, but animals never-the-less. Yet, in our culture, we work hard to separate ourselves from our fellow animal kin. Why? Because truly feeling the totality of the human experience is hard work. We’re trying all the time, of course. At home, we practice mindfulness meditation to tune inwards and calm our reactive nature when faced with stress in life. In business, we practice Stoicism to make effective leadership positions that quickly separate emotion from logic. And while these practices each have tremendous merit, there’s an element missing that could help many around the world navigate their life with greater calm and ease, particularly when stress can feel insurmountable.

Consider this:

How can emotional mastery (through deep introspective feeling) lead us to a more fulfilling life?
What if we truly allowed ourselves to feel the totality of the human experience instead of just what is societally appropriate?
What can we better learn about ourselves as a human species if we turn to emotion, instead of away from it?

I don’t mean to elicit public temper tantrums nor reactive arguments that spur hurtful aggression. In fact, what I am calling attention to here is less about acting out and more about tuning in.

Turning to our emotions for self-growth is needed now more than ever. In heightened times, such as the Coronavirus pandemic that brought with it global panic and unbridled fear, we are brought to our knees to face this fundamental aspect of our human experience: we are meant to feel deeply. Yet, all most are taught to do is to stuff the emotion inside and hide-away. And it’s not anyone’s fault in particular. This is what we’ve been trained to do since childhood and what’s been passed down for generations. Just watch a child cry or yell in public and you’ll like to hear someone lament “stop crying” or “don’t be a baby” or “sit still!”

Eventually, this stuffing in of emotion (i.e. The Felt Experience) leads many to live lives full of anxiety, depression, and detachment. Ultimately, this makes one wonder if this learned behavior perhaps has something to do with the growing rates of suicide and mental health awareness throughout the world, particularly in the lives of our developing youth. This global paradigm contrasts greatly with the alternative notion that suggests our emotions may, in fact, be one of the most helpful guides to self-actualization.

So if you’re willing to try out an experiment, below is a simple 5-step process to turn any emotional charge you have throughout your life into a poignant guide. By honing this practice (in combination with other mindfulness practices such as meditation), it will lead one down the path to wholeness and truly embody the human experience. The best part is…no one needs to know you’re doing this, as it can be done in the privacy of your own home.

This exercise is specifically designed to help you move from “I’m really f’n pissed off” or “I’m tight with sadness” to feeling grounded in your full-blooded presence in a way that feels authentic and allows you to take integrated action in your life from a place of love and compassion: turning emotion into energy-in-motion.

As you take on this growth challenge, take time to be a witness who observes the Self, just like you would during mindfulness meditation. Through self-observation (a.k.a. observing “the witness”), you’ll become more aware of unconscious thought patterns and behaviors and see more clearly how they influence your life and your actions. Then, through building a foundation of practice, you’ll grow more comfortable in embodying your emotional energy in a way that continues to help you level up in your presence. This leads to more deeply connected relationships, greater purpose in your work, and a deep sense of calm through the more difficult times in life.

The Practice: The Embodied Charge

Duration: whenever an emotional charge arises in your life, find 5–10 minutes to complete this in private.

(What is an emotional charge? It’s the internal feeling that arises in reaction to a stimulus. For example, you may feel a charge when watching a parent discipline their child, being asked to speak on stage, or when hearing that your friend has finally found the love of his life. Likewise, you may feel a charge when scrolling through social media or when someone challenges a belief you hold strongly.)

After completing 30 full breaths through the mouth with an active inhale and a passive exhale, call attention to the emotional charge and complete the following:

1. Move the Energy in the Body

Recognize where the emotion is in the body, such as in your gut. Then give the energy permission to move freely throughout your body. This may include gentle movements or could erupt into intense shaking. Some even go into pounding on a pillow or thrashing around in the water. Keep the mind out of it and allow the body to move freely. (Easier said than done, of course. This is very simple, yet quite difficult for many people, especially men).

Unsure what this looks like? Consider watching this impala shake intensely after escaping from an attack. Its body literally tremors to release fear and move onward with its life, something most humans could benefit from, as well, when feeling under attack in fight-or-flight mode.

If you completely let go and allowed the energy to move, what would that look like in movement? Release into this. (Don’t worry. This part gets easier in time).

2. Connect the Mind to the Body

As your body continues to move freely, bring the mind into play. Treat this like you would a meditation as your body continues to move freely.

Allow whatever images to arise naturally.

What memories surface, if any?
What thoughts arise? What questions?
What fears or concerns?
What uncompleted projects show up?
If you were to put a name on this feeling, would it fall under one of the common emotions: joy, anger, fear, sadness, jealously, shame, despair, guilt, grief, etc?
What sound would you make? This could be a howl, a scream, a whimper, or powerful words that embody the sensation (i.e. “F*ck You!” or “I Want You” or “Leave Me Alone”, etc.)

Continue to move and think about this until the body reaches a calm state and movements become gentle and balanced. (This may take a while or only a few moments).

3. Connect to the Present and Gain Insight

Now that your body has moved freely, turn inward and ask yourself what you could learn from this energy. First, get clear on what your current emotion is about in your current situation.

Where did this charge come from?
Is it about the anger you feel toward your partner or friend or yourself for something that occurred recently?
Is it sadness that you lost something dear to your heart?
Is it shame that you engaged in a behavior that does not align with your core values?
Is it fear about an upcoming presentation?
Is it grief over the loss of a loved one or a hypothetical of what could have been?

Now turn this awareness towards yourself. What does this say about you?

Remember that the purpose here is not to focus on others but, rather, to learn about yourself.

Treat yourself with loving compassion and hold a metaphorical mirror to your face (or look into one if that helps).

What does this emotion say about your true values?
What needs are not being met?
What trauma of the past may still control the way you show up in your present reality?
What personal boundaries may have been crossed?
What passion lay waiting for you to bring to life?
If you could get what you really want, what would that be?
Do not move onto the next step until you’ve gained some insight about yourself.

4. Take Action

Now it’s time to bring this insight into your present reality, helping to shape a new future and create new behavior patterns in your everyday actions and reactions.

Given the insight you’ve gained about yourself, what steps do you need to take to align your present reality with your internal world?

There may need to be a conversation with a certain someone: for instance, your boss or an old friend. Or perhaps there is a decision you need to make about the way in which you spend your day. Regardless, now that your body and mind have adequately processed the emotional energy, you can compassionately integrate this energy into your life. Move forward with your action from a place of compassion and fierce love. From this new vantage point, you should have extreme clarity in your direction.

5. Review and Reflect

Now that you’ve gone from body → body/mind → integrated action, take the time here to reflect on this process. Remember that this is an advanced practice that matures with time. As we may experience multiple emotional charges throughout the day, a good place to start can be in noticing what charges occur frequently, or if there’s a pattern of behavior you’ve noticed. Since this practice takes place in complete privacy (excluding, of course, when you take action), the people around you will likely notice a shift in the way you show up. They will likely feel your full-blooded presence like never before. Your goal here is to remain non-attached from the outcome and instead trust the process knowing that this exercise plays an infinite game in life.

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The above exercise is an embodied practice that will grow in ease over time. Likewise, as you continue to integrate emotional energy into your life, you’re likely to experience less of a charge when a situation occurs in the present that would have caused greater reactivity in the past. To help others acclimate to it, share your thoughts and reflections below. My hope is that this practice will cause a ripple effect, one that leads to a cultural shift where emotion will be looked at as a source of power, not a point of shame.

Should you wish to better log your growth through practice, here is a printable document to do so. You’re welcome to share it with whomever you feel would benefit.